The bulldog man at the gym.

I saw this guy at the gym recently, and he was fascinating.

I approached him because I wanted to use the tricep machine and asked if he was on it. For whatever reason, I saw him as a future version of myself. He was probably in his 70s, gray hair, but built like a retired NFL player, or streetfighter, or some shit. The thing I admired about him the most was he was pacing in between his sets. Only looking at the ground, he was locked in with his workout. What’s that word? Symbiosis?

He stood out in my mind because he seemed mindful of his workout. Mindful of the burn, mindful of the muscles, mindful of his routine, not worrying about life. Sometimes I can’t get out of my own head when I’m at the gym; is someone looking at me? Do I look good? Am I as attractive as this other person? Is someone making fun of me?

Ugh it sucks, but I was thinking about anxiety the other day, and as I’ve done with a lot of things recently, I vented to God about it. Well, that turned into me searching the bible and I ended up in Luke 12:22, 25, and 29. For y’all who aren’t into the bible basically it’s where Jesus says “don’t worry, God’s got you.” So, I’ve kinda like, been vibing on that recently. Just really blocking out a lot of intrusive thoughts because no matter what, God’s got me.

Then I was on instagram today and saw this therapist video where she said intrusive thoughts are from your brain doing risk assessment. So it’s probably an evolutionary trait we have picked up. And that’s okay because it was like, oh yeah I don’t need to be anxious because it’s random brain firings.

so yeah, uhhh, thanks for reading

-nathan